Newsflash kids: It’s ok to lose…it’s even ok to lose big.

I am sure most of you have already heard about the girl’s high school basketball game that ended in a 100-0 rout a couple of weeks back. For those of you who have not, on January 13, Dallas Academy and Covenant School played an intra-conference girl’s, high school basketball game in the Dallas, Texas area.

Dallas Academy is a very small school for developmentally challenged (Dyslexia and ADD for example) girls. In fact, only 20 girls attend the school, eight of them playing on the basketball team.

Covenant School won the game by using some questionable actions that did not exactly scream sportsmanship, like continuing to shoot 3-pointers in the fourth quarter, pressing Dallas Academy well into the second half and celebrating on the court when they scored their 100^th point of the game.

Now the media has been in an uproar over this. The coach for Covenant School, Micah Grimes, has been fired after refusing to apologize for the lopsided victory. The principal of Covenant School even offered to forfeit the game, an act that makes, literally, no sense to me. What would that even accomplish?

Maybe I am insensitive, but I do not understand the outrage here.

Were the coach and players for Covenant School jags? Of course they were, but when is being a jag a crime? Did they win with sportsmanship and dignity? Absolutely not, but that is certainly not a new phenomenon either…in sporting events or in life in general.

Listen, I’ve been on the wrong side of many routs in my day and I do sympathize with the girls from Dallas Academy. The St. Veronica Vulcans, my grade school basketball team, were regularly killed in the vast majority of our basketball games (yes, you did read that correctly, my grade school mascot was a Vulcan…live long and prosper indeed!) and I turned out alright. I mean, if this loss is the worst thing to happen to these girls, they will live unbelievably wonderful lives.

I think this is just the latest example of our society’s misguided attempt to artificially inflate the self-esteem of children.

You see it all the time now. Events where everyone gets a trophy, athletic games where scores are not kept and mercy rules all have good intentions, but I think do more harm than good.

By eliminating losses, you rob kids of the thrill of victory. By praising everyone, you neglect the kids that succeed. By rewarding mediocrity and failure, you denigrate excellence and achievement.

Additionally, if people do not learn how to handle losses or disappointments during fairly insignificant events like childhood sporting events, how are they going to handle real losses and real disappointments later in life that do matter, like missing out on a job, not being accepted to their dream college or when a relationship disintegrates?

To me, there were great lessons taught to everyone during this game.

The girls at Dallas Academy learned that sometimes, life can be incredibly cruel and you are not always going to get your way. The best thing to do in those situations is do your best and figure out how to do better next time.

The girls at Covenant School learned that humility, dignity and grace are far more valuable and difficult to gain than a win in a high school basketball game. They will also learn, very soon I suspect, that what goes around comes around as well.

Micah Grimes (what a perfect name for the villain of this story, by the way) learned that you should admit when you are wrong and seek forgiveness. He also learned that nobody likes it when you rout a bunch of developmentally challenged high school girls either.

I realize the conundrum parents and league officials face when dealing with kids at young ages, because you do not want them humiliated or shown up. However, I also think that kids are far more resilient than what most adults realize and learning a lesson or two will do more good than the harm caused by a lopsided defeat…even one that’s 100-0.

That’s all for now folks. Until next time, take care and be well.

-John